We're No Longer Flying

29 November 2012

I don't often join in with Katie's monthly Snippets of Story link-up (more's the pity), but I chose to do so this month as I have a rather ample supply of pieces from my Rifles in the South Field NaNo endeavor that I wanted to share. Keep in mind that these are not yet edited and being that they all come from my first draft, are in great danger of being deleted or drastically altered between now and that misty day in the distance when I choose to publish the book as a whole (some stand a better chance of this than others). With that, I give you my

snippets of november

“I sometimes wish men were born without tongues in their heads.”
Rifles in the South Field

The wicked copper flames danced perpetually on the hearth — they were not limited by human weaknesses — and they mocked her with every prancing step.
Rifles in the South Field

“Yes, the other ladies are beginning to eat — you had better join them.” He kissed her gloved hand, and she tried not to cringe at his touch. “Would you be so kind as to save a dance for me, Miss Dixon?” He did not wait for an answer; as soon as the words left his tongue, he melted back into the crowd of guests.
Rifles in the South Field

The scenery no longer swirled so viciously, but it still didn’t hold its own quite as it ought to. It remained an odd, wavering balance between daydream and reality, shimmering and bobbing before her eyes.
Rifles in the South Field 

There was much to be said for a father who went off to slay the enemy; it put Kenneth in the mind of the knights from the stories his nurse told him. They were always defeating great fire-breathing dragons and rescuing beautiful princesses (who, it should be mentioned, did a great deal of fainting and weeping both before and after they were properly retrieved). Kenneth had little interest in the fair maidens, but his soul thrilled at the idea of slaying dragons of his own someday. The other chaps had fathers who were doctors and lawyers, and that was all well and good, but it didn’t fetch the same sort of pride as having a father who was a soldier. A major. Kenneth rolled the word around on his tongue whenever he spoke it; it sounded so deliciously grown-up.
Rifles in the South Field

The thought stung her heart worse than alcohol poured over a fresh wound.
Rifles in the South Field

“Daughter, even you are old enough to know that men are formed by God and not society’s whims.”
Rifles in the South Field

He was already learning that reality has an unhealthy appetite for dispelling all preconceived notions.
Rifles in the South Field

She glared at him, her eyes turned to burning embers. “You are a miserable excuse for a man.”
To her surprise, his expression did not change. “That dagger’s been used on me all my life, ma’am: don’t be surprised if I no longer feel the sting of it.”
Rifles in the South Field

The young man remembered well the many nights when the ship was racked with storms, when thunder had sounded loud enough to shake Heaven itself and lightning had torn through the sky like shears slicing through satin. He was grateful for the calm on this leisurely afternoon, but he did not trust it to last long. A man can no longer stand confidently on firm ground after he has seen its cracks.
Rifles in the South Field 

“You needn’t grip me that hard; we’re no longer flying.” 
Rifles in the South Field

3 epistles:

  1. Ooh - intriguing! I loved them all, but I really liked your metaphors & similes: "...lightning had torn through the sky like shears slicing through satin"; "...reality has an unhealthy appetite for dispelling all preconceived notions" and the way you described the girl's faintness. Very powerful writing!

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  2. Wow, just wow, Elizabeth! I loved every single snippet from Rifles in the South Field. I can't choose a favourite! And can I say, that I think with every snippet or scene you've allowed for us eager viewers to peak at, I have seen a sparkling growth and maturity in your writing by and by like glamorous flames dancing from the hearth of a pen? 'Tis beautiful and I look forward to the day when I can read the whole of 'Rifles in the South Field'!

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  3. Ooo, I love each of these! My favorite, though, is: “That dagger’s been used on me all my life, ma’am: don’t be surprised if I no longer feel the sting of it.”

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"Gracious words are like a honeycomb; sweetness to the soul and health to the body." —Proverbs 16:24

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