I have always been a visual person. As I've grown and matured as a Christian, God has used pictures and visions to speak to and encourage my heart.
I remember one such time. I was at a conference and the speaker was talking about the love of God. You know, the "how high", "how wide", "how deep" and "how long" kind of love. My mind, let alone my heart could not comprehend this kind of love. Love was not always displayed to me in ways that I desired. I had many false concepts of what love was, and in many ways my love was abused, tarnished, taken advantage of. So for me to think that there was this God up in Heaven who loved me like that was something I could not wrap my brain around.
As it came time for the alter call, many were weeping and crying out to the Lord. I went to the alter, but I felt nothing. I not only couldn't comprehend God's love, I couldn't feel it. My mind "knew" of this love, because I read it in His Word. I even dared to believe this love was for me. Yet I longed to understand. I longed to know this kind of love.
So I stood there, feet firmly planted. I decided I was not going to move until He showed me that kind of love. I don't know how long went by. But as I stood there, I felt my heart softening and my knees weakening. I remember I ended up in a puddle of tears on the floor, sobbing, weeping, crying out to God. Yet still I did not feel anything. I could hear others around me getting free of their false concepts of love. But I was still the same. I remained there. Afraid to move from that place. I feared if I did I would never know. I was desperate for a even a glimpse of this love.
And then it happened. In a moment, it all changed. As I sat there on the floor weeping, the Lord gave me a beautiful vision in my mind. I saw myself. I was sitting on the floor, just as I was in the natural. But I was all dressed in white. I saw this man approach me. At least, he looked like a man, but I knew it was Jesus. I couldn't really see His face. The surrounding light was too bright. I braced myself, expecting to hear some disapproval, some word about what I should or shouldn't be doing. You see, my concept of God and His love was pretty tweaked at this time in my life. Yet, He said nothing. What He did next changed my life. He sat on the floor next to me. He then reached over, scooped me up into His arms, and embraced me, holding me like a mother would hold a child, and together we rocked back and forth. At this moment, all I remember was the feeling of intense love permeating my body. It had to be love. I felt warm, light, free, whole, desired, overwhelmed. God had come to me in this vision and showed me how very much He loved me.
This is an experience I will never forget. I cannot say that I have arrived at a place where I fully comprehend and understand this love. But this experience that I had long ago put me on a course to keep pursuing that kind of love. I will never forget the day He came and wrapped me up in His arms of love!
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Barbie is a wife and mom to four beautiful children. She is a child of the King of Kings and has been marked by the love of a relentless God who never stops pursuing her. She believes each day is a freshly brewed gift given to us from our Heavenly Father. Her desire is to encourage woman to experience the fullness of God's love. Visit Barbie at her blog My Freshly Brewed Life.